Not what I said

This time I'm dealing with a product vendor and asked for documentation on some systems. We'll call the one I want Whiskey (something I like) and the one I got information on Grapefruit (something I do not like). Perhaps you can draw your own situation conclusions from there...

Her: So which system do you want documentation for?

Me: Whiskey.

Her: Okay, when using that you can use it in concert with other systems, which system are you using?

Me: Rum. I don't have the resources to use Grapefruit, which is why I'm having trouble with finding the right documentation. I have all the information I need on Grapefruit, but I need information on Whiskey. Your website doesn't have any links to the documentation.

(We spend a few minutes chatting about what I have and need)

Her: Okay, I'll send you what you need.

Ten minutes later I get a link to Grapefruit in my email "as per our conversation"....

Do you believe in magic

This guy isn't much different than Zapp Brannigan. If you'll recall the episode "In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela" (See here)

Him: What's the maximum attachment size for our email?

Me: 15MB

... a little later...

Email from him: Hey, I've got a video I want to email but it's too big. I tried to compress it a few times, but it won't get any smaller than it already is. It's in [folder a], please compress it down to 15MB so I can email this out.

I go look in the folder to see what was going on. He tried throwing an m4V through Winzip that was about 200MB. He was getting less than 0.5% compression the first time an no compression after that. I sent him a blank CD.

I... can't... read... mostly...

Email sent to the entirety of our employee base:

... Everyone qualifies for this discount, so let us know if you want to participate...

Link inside the email sent to the entirety of our employee base has this text:

This discount applies to everyone. (it's basically the only sentence)

Email response:

Does this apply to everyone or just the other department?

Instructions are still pretty hard to follow

Her: I got the new instructions for logging into the website, but it's not working.

Me: I'd be more than happy to help. First off, click on the shortcut in your IE.

Her: I'm already there.

Me: Okay, log in just like you did with the previous website. Nothing has changed except for the way it looks, so you shouldn't have any problems.

Her: Okay, so I use my [user A] and [password A] and it doesn't let me on.

Me: Right, but you're supposed to be using [user b] and its password for this system.

Her: Why doesn't the document say that?

(I pull up said document)

Me: It's under the heading, "Logging into the updated system"

Her: Okay, but it still doesn't work.

Me: Can you tell me exactly what you did?

Her: Well, I'm using [user b] and [password a].

Three attempts later...

Her: Well, I don't know what you did but it worked.