Stuck in the past

I didn't know we had one, but one of our people just asked us to replace a "dictation machine". Now, it's been a while since people have used that terminology. Some order of decades, really. Analogue based tape recording has been commonplace since the 60's, and maybe the term could have survived another generation or two beyond that. But really, it's been a long time since we've used wax cylinders and other craziness to record our musings.

I sent him a link to an Amazon search for "voice recorders". Normally I'd be a little weary of sending a link like this to such a relic of a man, but he does seem to be able to use and understand computers well enough to operate an email client to some degree of proficiency. Depending on his age he's well aware of the abilities of computers to send chain emails, jokes, and video clips. (see below)

Lost in translation

I don't like talking through people. Especially assistants who don't understand what they're saying. Today's conversation was just such a conversation... Between me, the assistant (we'll just abbreviate that later) and the guy in charge.

Her: His Blackberry ran out of batteries last night. He doesn't know why, but it's charging now.

Yes... This guy is so self-involved, so voluntarily disconnected from reality that he has actually allowed himself to forget how batteries work. I was almost enraged by this, but I kept my cool.

Anyway. For the rest of the conversation here is what I said, and what she said to him. She's just trying to be diplomatic and make things sound easier for him to take. The problem was that the blackberry is encrypted and when it loses power the thing has to access the SD card again, which is supposed to be automatic, but this time it asked for a password.
Me: The password it wants is to access the memory card. Just put in the device unlock password.
Her to him: You have to put in your email password.
Me: No. That's not what I said. He has to put in the password he uses every time his PHONE locks up.
Her to him: You have to put in your unlock password for the phone.
(at this point he's confused... says it's not working. Decides to restart the phone)
Me: The memory card is encrypted, so it should be the same password. Just put the unlock password in both times and it should be fine.
Her to him: He said the memory card has to reboot, too....
Her to me: He put in his password and nothing is happening.
Me: So he put in his password and you still see the password box?
Her to me: It's running really slow.
Me: Okay, but do you still see the password box?
Her to me: It's just running slow.
(this incoherent babble of hers runs on for a few minutes. I assumed that "running slow" meant that it accepted the password)
Her to me: It's still running really slow. The emails are coming in.
Me: That's supposed to happen. It's downloading the emails from the server. Everything is fine.
Her to him: He said that it's supposed to happen.
Her to me: He said that it's running really slow.
Me: It's fine. Just let the emails come in and it'll work like normal.
Her to him: He said that it's just updating and will be fine soon.

Hey, she got one right!

It must be that hard

After one department tells an individual he must fix a compliance issue, he asks them what's wrong. So they tell him exactly what the problem is and even sends step-by-step instructions with images that only a blind person couldn't understand.

True to form, he forwards them to me and figures it's my job to walk him through it... (He didn't even read them)

For those of you in IT. This happens a LOT. Well, for those of you in the world who feel a certain sense of responsibility and duty within your job that makes you think about what you're doing, this happens a LOT.