Possible answers:
*If they're CRT's they make a cool crashing noise when you drop them off a bridge.
*Try insulting them until they weep.
*Start rapping "Baby Got Back" they'll join in around "My anaconda don't..."
*Dog treats and the potential to go for a walk are known to be effective training rewards.
*Buy some speakers you f*^&$# moron.
Oh, but I couldn't use any of THOSE answers...
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