When does the score reset?

Some people tend to forget that sometimes the 'score' between you is generally a running tally.  Unless a new competition or an official restart is declared (prenegotiated), the 'score' runs continually.

For instance:


NEW GUY: Hey, does (printer I never heard of before) have (some attribute that makes no sense for a printer)
ME:  Haven't heard of that printer, but that seems like an odd question about a printer
NEW GUY: [puts user on hold, walks over, dances] In your FACE.  Me, one.  You, zero
ME:  Dude, you don't get a point for being the first of the two of us to hear about an obscure printer that no one on the service desk has seen before.  You're on the phones, that's going to happen.
NEW GUY: In your FACE!
ME:  Okay, if you want that point, put it into perspective.  You've been here two months and finally have one point.  I'm at 100 million.  Want me to convert that to a percentage?
NEW GUY:  ... shut up.

Great minds may think alike...

but just because you and I were on the same page doesn't mean you're on my level.  Especially when the page is contained in a book with only one page.

I don't want to say that I'm smarter or better than other people, but "Great minds think alike" is not the proper way to thank me for suggesting that someone use an easier to remember password after the 4th reset.

I do believe that I'm on a much higher or at least different level of mind than a lot of people when it comes to a lot of things.  I like to think I have a "Great mind".  And I like to think that the rest of the "Great minds" simply think in vastly different ways than do the ungreat.

Is that B as in Dog?

Walking through getting an ip address.

Me: Okay, open the Start menu and click on 'run'.
Her: Okay
Me: Type in 'c' as in cat, 'm' as in monkey, 'd' as in dog.  Now hit enter.  You should see a black box with white text.
Her:  It didn't work.  It said it can't find it.
Me: Okay just close that and try again.  'c', 'm', 'd'.  It stands for the word 'command'.
Her: 'C', 'M', 'B'?
Me:  No.  'd' as in dog.  The letters are from the word 'command'.
Her: 'B'?

You thought you'd never use math after school...

Here's an easy word problem.

User A has an email box size of 1GB.  User A reaches the size limit and is informed to archive/delete email.  User A has been fully educated in how to find where the bloat is located.  User A sends emails 3 times a week stating, "I'm close to my limit, what do I do?  Can I have a bigger mailbox?" User A receives the same answer each time, "Manage your mailbox better.  No users are able to have larger mailboxes allocated to them."

If User A adds 100MB of junk to her 1000MB limit every day, how fast would User A use up an extra 500MB of server side data storage?

Answer:  User A is a moron.


See?  Math.

A Simple Question

We use a particular product to support people on external connection (since remoting through home routers takes hours of over the phone configuration every time).  Generally there is some sort of connectivity problem with their email so I have them go to the web page (used by thousands of people each day, not just our company) and they are greeted with a very simple interface with the name of the product and two boxes:

Customer Name:  _________________
Support Key:        _________________

The first thing they ask is, "What do I put in for 'Customer Name'?"
Me:  ... your name.

Order of operations

After requesting some paperwork to be scanned and emailed I found that they didn't scan the correct side.

Them:  Here's the information you requested. [attachment]
(I look at the attachment, the second page was scanned upsidedown)
Me: Can you please flip the second page over so the correct information is scanned and resend?
Them: Okay.
... a few minutes pass I get a new attachment...
Me: What I need is the second page flipped over, you turned it 180 degrees.  I need the information on the other side of the page..

Chain of command

More of a game of Buck Buck for those of you who grew up in the 80's...

User: My system isn't working, what's wrong?

Me: There is a problem with your account on that program's website. You'll have to call them directly to get it corrected as our internal IT has no control over that system. The phone number is ___. If that doesn't work or they can't help please call me right back and I'll get it fixed.

(one hour passes and I get a phone call)

Boss's boss's boss: Why didn't you fix User's problem?

Me: I believe I did.

Bbb: Well User just called and told me you blew them off.

Me: That's not the case at all. I told User exactly what to do and requested that User call me back immediately if there is a problem.

Bbb: User told me that you rattled off a phone number and told her "good luck". Is this the kind of customer service you give?

Me: I instructed User to call me back if there was any problems, and my phone has not rung in the last hour. If User can't follow those instructions then I think you're either being lied to by User or you may have an employee that needs to be replaced...

Bbb:... Just call User and get it fixed.